Enticing title!!?? How much what?? Sex, licorice, ice cream??? Nope, none of those! How much extra-curricular activity is too much! Let me explain:
On the way home from the lake...Brian and I were talking about not turning into parents who are going here and there and yonder for our kids. Please, please, do not take this the wrong way...if any of you do go here and there and yonder...I just want some answers, really, PLEASE help!
When we were growing up, we practiced once a week and had a game on Saturday. There would be occasional tournaments, but NOT every weekend. We weren't expected to go to camps every week to further our knowledge in pitching for the team! Maybe that's why I'm not a professional pitcher??!! Which, by the way, is fine with me...I'm quite happy being at home. Anyway, one day last week, Brian actually had a mom tell him, "I don't know how this happened...it seems as though you wake up one morning and you are the limo driver to cheer camp, and volleyball practice...I don't even know who I am anymore??!!" How sad. That's how I feel most of the time already on some levels, but not quite to that extent...yet. Anyway, I'm getting off my original point a little bit...I wish I was a great writer --but I am not. So, back to my original question...how much is too much? Maybe I am too selfish? With all the ball camps and everything else your child MUST attend if they want to be good in sports, how do you do ANYTHING else in your life, like have great family vacations and such? Example...we are HUGE OU football fans. Go every home game...rarely miss. I get the goosebumps just thinkin' about it right now :) So, if we want to take the boys on a Saturday... how do we do that if they are in a tournament? I can't help but believe that going to the OU football games wouldn't be more memorable than playing in a baseball tournament? I dunno. I don't want to hurt ANYONE'S feelings, so please don't take any of this the wrong way. I also can't imagine my kids growing up and being baseball champion stars...but hey, I guess it could happen?? I guess, for now, we'll just see what they happen to be good at or like and go from there. I'm really tired and I'm sorry if none of this made sense. Just wanna know what my bloggy friends think and what gets them through! Would love any and all advice!
7 comments:
I cannot stand to live my life in the car. And maybe that is why my kids aren't in sports. Here, soccer is twice a week practice and then games on Saturdays. To me, that's too much of a time committment when I am obviously not raising athletes.
We really cut back on our activities this past year...mostly because I was tired of eating McDonald's drive through every night for dinner. I wanted us to be at home in the evenings. And for the kids to have a real dinner. And go to bed at a decent hour.
So...they were both in a professional choir. Which is a pretty big time committment. Rehearsals once a week - several concerts a year - and an insane week in the Spring when they were part of Atlanta Symphony Orchestra's production of La Boheme.
I think I just rambled on...did I even approach answering the question?!
Can I get an amen, hallejuah!?!? Let me know the concensus b/c I so do not look forward to all the activities with 3 children. I made Ariana choose 1 activity for this next school year because Evan is now starting activities, yucko!
Kat--Yes, you did! I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one out there pondering this problem! I know there will be something...like your girls and the Professional Choir (wow! by the way!)...but to me, at least they will using that skill lifelong...Thanks!
Lezel--I'll let ya know! I think letting them choose 1 activity is the direction we are headed...Is it wrong to hope they just won't be good and won't want to play :) I kid, a little!
Oh Amy! This is so tough! What makes it hard is the competition in these sports--they now have a 'special' team for almost all sports where the good players get picked for and they practice constantly. And if you don't make special team the 'scouts' don't look at you (so says the parents). And in our ballet school, the older kids practice 5-6 days a week for 3-4 hours daily.
Anyway, our ped. wrote a release on it that our local paper never published ironically but it talked about the effects of keeping kids so busy--the stress, not only mentally but physically. She had a 12 yr old in her office with a busted knee--she told the dad no practice for a month for which he said, 'no way--she has to be on both teams(both practices) or she won't be looked at for the 'special' team--we just want something for pain' and long story short, she destroyed her knee.
I am not sure what your suburb is like but here, but getting a B or second place is a failure by many parents. My daughter is truly struggling in math (barely getting a C) so we are doing tutoring. we are not alone although most moms are doing it because their little so and so got a low A. And summer school classes out here are very full.
The pressure on the kids is terrible :(
I'm going on a tagent here and I am not even sure I answered your question.
I think you need to do what is best for your family--honestly if we lived in Columbus we would be every Ohio State game. I personally think your kids will be better people with all in moderation.
Did I even answer your question?!
(me--the overachieving commenter ;) )
Lisa--yes, you did!! You are right...the pressure on our children these days...well, are just ridiculous! I agree, everything in moderation...except for OU football games...then we can overachieve :) Thanks so much for the comment!
Yeah--I remember once a week practices and once a week games too. I think there was some kind of tournament at the end of the season, but it didn't seem much different than a game. I have friends with multiple kids in multiple activities, and I just have to think: do you ever even SEE them?! And it seems they get in "big trouble" from the coaches if they miss any practices or games. Anyhow, i have a friends who only lets her kids do activities in the summer. That seems to have helped some. I think family time comes first. If you have a kid with some real talent who loves a certain activity, then I think it's alright to let them pursue it---it might even pay for college---but if not, I think YOU'VE got the right idea!
Now--go eat a family dinner off that clean floor of yours :)!
Hi, Just wanted to weigh in on this. I hear what you are saying. I'm from rural Pennsylvania (Go Penn State)and my only child is in college. I'm thinking the personality of the individual kids might be a factor in what all they can handle and since we only had one child it was not a difficult decision for us. I'm sure my story would be different if I had more than one child. My daughter's sport was gymnastics, 6 days a week....by the time she was in 6th grade she developed Osgood Schlauters disease and that ended the gymnastics. She filled her "extra time" with music, theatre and soccer. But she was always on the go....now in college she is the same way....freshmen year she did cheerleading and joined a sorority. She will be a jr. this year and has 3 jobs and just came home from a conference where she represented the greek life at her school. She also tutors at a middle school, she thrives on doing it all. However....her life would have been very different if she would have had siblings. We did a lot of one on one bonding on those many trips to the gym or to music lessons (half hour trips)that's when she choose to talk to me.
I'm thinking as they start to get older you will know what your family can handle! Don't be afraid to say no to some of those activities. You are the mom and I'm thinking a very wise one!
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