This is an excerpt from The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson. Jake's sweet preschool teacher gave it to us for a little Spring Mother's Day Program. I'm so going to check out the book!
"It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and asks to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30 please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude-but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone.
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style- dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this. It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees'
In the days ahead I would read--no, devour--the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals---we have no record of their names. These builders gave the whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No will will ever see it. 'And the workman replied,
Because God sees.'
Wow! I don't feel quite as invisible as she did....Brian is sooo good to appreciate things I do around the house and with the boys, but some days, you do forget how to just be yourself and not a mom. I know, even though I do feel invisible at times, the "sacrifices" I'm making today for the boys will hopefully make them into "great cathedrals"! If only I could just remember to always feel blessed that I am able to stay at home. I think I take that for granted, a lot! Well, gotta run, didn't mean to turn this into a homily! Hope everyone has a great day building those little cathedrals!
